I was talking to my boyfriend the other day and he turned and said’ “Why do you always ask me if something’s wrong?”. I never realized how often I asked him this and it got me thinking. I hate this question. Like, I really, really hate it when people ask me all the time. So why am I always asking him?
Listen, we all have our “things”. Some of us can talk about them, others can’t. Even the people who have the ability to talk about their issues have moments where they want to keep things private. They have every right to do so, of course. However, people always want to pry. I mean, I know it’s all about common courtesy and trying to be a good friend and all of that, but sometimes, it’s easier to get over things by zenning out and taking care of it in your own way.
I’ve not always been able to talk about my problems. Now it seems like I can’t shut up when it comes to them. At one point in my life. The worst question people would ask me is, “what’s wrong?”. I never wanted to talk about what was bothering me or why I would go from being so happy to depressed. It would make me so anxious to have to admit that something was wrong. I grew up as a perfectionist so I wouldn’t cause any stress in my family. I mean, I was a total kid who got in trouble, but I always strived to be on my best behavior at all times. Obviously, this carried into adulthood, but now I’ve learned that sometimes I can talk about things, but it’s okay if I don’t feel comfortable about.
There will always be people who want to know what’s up with you, especially if you’re not as you normally are around them. It’s your choice whether or not you want to share. You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable, but you may feel better about it in the end. Find a great support system filled with people you trust because they’re like vaults. These people won’t judge, won’t let your secrets spill out or use your insecurities against you. Finding these people can be easy, but there are some you think you can trust until you see who they truly are. But just remember that there are good and trusting people out there.
So if someone asks you that question, it’s your decision about how you answer. Don’t feel pressured to spill everything out on the table. It’s your story and feelings to share. And if you realize you’re one of those people who can’t stop asking the question, just remember to respect the person and not overwhelm them.